Who knows what the rest of this year is going to bring to us?
I hope the future brings all of the joy and wonderfulness that we all deserve after the last couple of years. But just in case it starts pushing you that much closer to burning out, I want to share with you something important.
I know what it’s like to be on the verge of burning out – where you feel it’s all overwhelming, you just want to give up, or where you’re just doing the bare minimum because the bare minimum is that hard. It feels like, every day, you’re just like pushing through, trying to make it to bedtime.
Then, at the end of the day, you feel defeated, like you’re not enough. Mom burnout is real, and being a mother is something we can’t just push aside. I know what that’s like, and I don’t want you to feel that. If you’re getting on the verge of burnout, here’s what I learned that I need you to know.
Burnout is not personal. Burnout is not about you.
Burnout has to do with the environment around you. Yes, you need to own your part in it, but there are specific causes of burnout that have been identified. If you can think about which one of these causes or a combination of them might be pushing you to feel more burned out, to feel like giving up, to feel like it’s all too much, then you can start to take action.
Burnout is not a personal problem.
Here are the causes of burnout that you can act on:
1) Having no control over days
When you feel like you have no control over what’s going on at work or how you’re living your life, that can lead you to feel burnout.
You can plan out your days, weeks, and months. You don’t need a strict schedule, just be more intentional with your priorities and activities.
2) A lack of appreciation
Not being recognized for your efforts or rewarded for all the good that you do can dim the fire in you. You can start by appreciating yourself.
Create a list of things that you did at the end of the day. You did a load of laundry? Yay! You got the kids in bed on time? Reward yourself with some quiet time!
Celebrate your small wins to keep your fire burning.
3) Unclear or over-demanding expectations
When the expectations that are put upon you are bigger than what you can deliver and should deliver, that’s constantly putting pressure on yourself.
Get clarity from your boss or your partner about what you can do. If the tasks are overwhelming, communicate that and ask for support. If you can clean the house every day, get clear on that with your partner and start the conversation on how you two can work together.
4) Monotonous day-to-day tasks
When your work is not challenging you, when you’re just pushing a button, when it doesn’t excite you or bring you joy, this could lead to burnout.
Find something to challenge yourself outside your daily tasks. You can challenge yourself to connect with people outside of your team or you can work on an advocacy that you truly believe in.
5) A chaotic high-pressure environment
When you work or live in a constantly stressful environment and do not find the opportunity to unwind, the stress is just going to build up every day.
Here, communication might help. But if it won’t, you can intentionally take yourself out of that environment. Take your child to the park for an hour every weekend. Enjoy your quiet time when everyone’s asleep.
6) Lack of support
If you don’t have a support structure, if you don’t have people around you who are there to help support you, push you forward, tell you that you’re awesome, that you can vent to and share with, it’s hard to find joy in every day.
If you don’t have a supportive family or friends, you can find this support on social media. There are now plenty of groups and communities that lift each other up.
When moms thrive, the communities get happier.
These are the six causes of burnout, six things that can push you to the edge and sometimes over. Take a moment, go through these six causes and identify which ones are pushing you to feel burnt out.
And of course, take action on it. Because on the edge is not where you want to stay. You can get unstuck and move forward.
Burnout may be invisible, but you can act on its causes and recover from it.
P.S. I want you to succeed, mama, because I know that when moms thrive, our communities get better, our families are happier and our places of work are more profitable.
If you want to work with me, I can set aside a whole day to go through and help you figure out how to thrive both in and out of the office. Book a consultation here.