“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.” And guess what, mama, you do not need to please all of the people all of the time! In fact, trying to satisfy all of the people all of the time is a dangerous idea. I know you want to make everyone happy, but you set yourself up for failure in attempting to do this. When you’re trying to please everyone, you can not perform at 100%, you can not be a good leader at work or in the home, and ultimately you’ll be unhappy and unfulfilled. You don’t deserve to feel that way, mama. Here are 5 ways to help you stop people-pleasing so that you can start living a life you love.
It Is A Mind Game
The foundation of people-pleasing lives within the stories you tell yourself about why you should be doing things for others. At it’s core, people-pleasing isn’t about doing good things for others – it’s about doing things for others because you’re worried about what they are going to think about you. Start to think about the stories you are telling yourself about why you should or shouldn’t do something for someone. If those stories are based in fear rather than in a true desire to do nice things for others, then you need to stop and reevaluate whether or not this thing you’re agreeing to is something you should be doing. Do not decide to do something out of fear, especially if that fear is that they won’t like you. Remember, at the end of the day – who cares if someone else likes you? If you are making decisions because you’re afraid of someone’s reaction – then pause and try to do what feels right in your heart, not what will gain their approval.
Accept Yourself As You Are And Know That You Are Enough
You are enough as you are, and I know as women that it is tough for us to understand, but once you get there, you will find so much freedom and joy in life. Being you is enough, and you do not have to perform to prove it.
Get Clear About What You Want Out Of Life
If you don’t have clarity, then you won’t know when you should genuinely say no, nor will you know when you should say yes, so take some time to get clear on what you want out of life truly. When people approach you asking for things, think about whether that action will help you get what you want out of life.
You Are Responsible For How People Treat You
You are an adult – when people are repeatedly treating you poorly, it’s because you are letting them. Do not let people treat you poorly. Sometimes that means you need to walk away from that relationship, no longer allowing them to be in your life. That can be very tough, but it is the healthiest move for yourself. Just because you have said yes in the past does not mean you have to continue saying yes. Remember, when someone asks you to do something, you always have the option of saying no.
Avoiding Problems Does Not Make Them Go Away
Addressing problems is the only real way of making them go away. If you say yes to avoid a problem, you must recognize this only allows the problem to grow in the background. Facing the problem head-on is the only way to get rid of the problem.
Take some time right now to get clear on what you want out of life. This is the first step towards living for you and no longer being a people-pleaser. Write down what you want and where you see yourself in 5 years. This clarity will give you a clear voice, which will lead to feeling more powerful and will lead to living a life you love.
For more self-care tips and tricks check out, 5 Unexpected Ways To Boost Your Confidence.
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Learn to ask for support and free your time without letting go of our responsibilities at How To Get Unstuck.