As mamas, we want so much for so many people. Of course, for our babies, but we also want a lot for our partners, colleagues, parents, and friends. All that positive energy we put out towards others can leave us empty. At some point, we can find that we’ve lowered the standards we have for our lives. It’s like we wake up one day and don’t even recognize who we are. That sucks. The great news is, it’s not permanent. Here are a few steps you can take to raise your standards.
Be Honest With Yourself
Promise yourself you will always be honest with yourself even if the truth hurts or if the truth is scary. For example, if you are afraid to say no to someone because you fear their reaction. You fear they will be upset with you or will walk out of your life; then this is not a person that should be in your space. Saying no should not lead to losing a relationship – if it does, this person was not for you to begin with. You will have to grieve the loss of this relationship, but your life will ultimately be better without that person.
Get Clear On What You Want
After you are honest with yourself, it is time to get clear on what you want. Write down what your standards and values are. For example, I value my health, the health of my loved ones, my ability to make an impact, going out to eat, and enjoying a glass of wine. I also value transparency, integrity, and honesty. I reset my standards from this list of values, and I invite you to do the same. Now that you see what you value ask yourself, “what does this mean for my life? what am I willing to accept from my own behavior? what am I willing to accept from others?”
Choose Actions You Can Take Today
Now that you know your standards choose three things you can do today to realign yourself with your standards. For example, if you value health – go to the grocery store and purchase healthy food options for your home. If you value time – cancel meetings with people you know you shouldn’t meet with. If you value family, call a relative so you can invest in that relationship. If you value education/intellectual stimulation – take some time to read or listen to a thought-provoking podcast. Choose manageable actions that will have you marching in the right direction towards your values and standards.
Check-In With Yourself
This needs to become an ongoing practice – habits aren’t formed overnight. Make a promise to yourself to do monthly check-ins, once or twice a month, to ensure you are living your life accordingly, and if not, make the necessary adjustments.
While you’re evaluating your standards during your monthly check-in, reflect on the good they have brought into your life.
Time to make a plan. Within the next 24-hours, find a time to write out your values and your standards so that you can get clear on what you want. Taking action now will set you up for success and have you living a life you love.
For more tips for working moms check out, How to Get Unstuck, Reset, and Adjust Your Trajectory.
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