I have not always been this happy. I have not always been such a joyful person, and I know some of you might be surprised.
I wasn’t. I had to learn how to keep my glass full, and I’m going to share with you my two-step trick to do that. This is something that I rely on because there have been extended periods where I don’t feel joy.
When I first went back to work after having my second son, it was tough. A lot was going on in life. Being in the middle of the pandemic, returning to work, having a young baby that I couldn’t be with, relocating across the country – it was a lot of stress and there was a lack of joy. I felt stuck.
I realized I wasn’t happy, but well, what do I need to do to be happy?
I couldn’t figure it out. I felt stuck, it was unclear for me. Then I fell back on these two things that I know throughout my life have helped me to find more joy, no matter what kind of situation I’m in. I’m going to share them with you so that you can have more joy, thrive, and feel amazing. Because when you feel amazing, everything gets better.
You are that important. You feeling better makes your kids feel better, your partner feel better, the people at work feel better, the community around you feel better.
Everyone feels better when you feel better.
When you feel STUCK it’s actually HARD to find JOY.
Here is the two-step process that has helped me to find more joy, especially when I’m feeling stuck.
The first part is to get clarity, and the second part is to take action to get closer to that thing. So let me break it down for you.
In getting clarity, you have to define what you want so that you can get it. You have to be clear on what’s going to bring you joy so you can chase it. To identify what brings you joy, sometimes you can sit down and think about them, sometimes you just feel stuck.
I’ve been there, where you can’t think of what would make you feel better.
Here’s the trick for getting unstuck, and it might not be what you expect. This is kind of unconventional, but it works: It is taking a look internally and asking yourself, “What am I jealous about? What has made me jealous lately?” And turning that into a source of joy.
For example, I was talking to my friend the other day and she asked, “Hey, how was your weekend?” I said, “Oh, it was good, I was up at five because I had to do some work, and then I had to take care of the kids all day, but it was fun. I had a decent weekend, it was very busy and jam-packed.” So I asked back, “How was your weekend, what’d you do?” And she said, “Oh, nothing, I just lay in bed all day and read a book.”
I was confused, then I was jealous. I wanted that. I was getting jealous about her having all that time to herself, and I realized I wanted more time for myself, that reading a book would bring me joy.
So, I bought a book, and I started carving out time to read the book. I used that sense of jealousy to figure out what I wanted.
That’s how you get clarity, this is step one.
Step two is taking the action to get closer to that.
Step two is where the joy sparks. “Closer” is the keyword, you don’t have to actually get it.
I’m saying you just have to take action to get closer to it. If you want a new car, but maybe you don’t have it in your budget right now and you need a little bit more time. Look at your current car: Is it clean? If not, can you clean it out? Can you take action to enjoy your car a little bit more? In taking that action, you’re going to find joy.
Another example is when you admire someone else’s body. You realize what you want for yourself, that what would bring you joy is to be healthier. Can you do some things to feel healthier? Can you take a walk? Can you eat some more protein? What can you do to get a little bit closer to that?
In doing those little things, you are going to find joy.
When I was talking to my friend and realized what I wanted for myself was more time and to read again, because I sometimes forget that I enjoy reading. I bought a book, and then I found 15 minutes to read.
Am I lying in bed all afternoon? No, but is it moving me closer to having more time for myself and enjoying a book? It is. That’s what matters – that you take that little bit of action to get closer to where or you want to be.
When you do that, you have more joy. And when you have more joy, your family has more joy, and as I said, everybody feels better.
The key to having more joy today is to GET CLEAR on what brings you JOY.
I want you to take a moment now and think about, what is something that’s sparking jealousy in you? Write it down, and then write down one step that you can do today to get closer to that. Then you have to take the step.
Learn more ways to get unstuck, clear your plates, and finally go after what you want with my free video course How To Get Unstuck!