Feeling Like You’ve Lost Yourself?
Do you ever look in the mirror and think, “Who is this woman? This isn’t really me…”?
As working moms, it’s so easy to get caught in the endless swirl of work, kids, cleaning, cooking, doctor appointments, and supporting our partners. We give so much of ourselves to everyone else that it’s easy to lose touch with the things that used to bring us joy—the things that made us interesting, alive, and fully ourselves.
The Wake-Up Call
I remember being at a conference once. Cocktail hour, mingling with other attendees, everyone sharing their passions and fun hobbies. When it came my turn, I said, “I have two littles.” That was it. My entire existence outside of work boiled down to my kids. And honestly? It felt a little sad… a little frustrating.
That night, I thought about all the things I used to do:
- Speak French (and still speak Spanish!)
- Travel
- Make my own pasta sauce
- Have tattoos
- Create things for fun
I realized a big part of the joy I was missing came from losing touch with those parts of me.
Make a List, Pick One, and Commit
Here’s what I did: I made a mental list of all the things I used to do just for me, then picked one—candle making. I told my husband, “Can you help with bath time on Thursday so I can make candles?” And he said yes.
That little pocket of joy spilled over into every part of my life:
- More energy and focus at work
- Being fully present with my kids
- Showing my children that it’s okay to do things for yourself
- Feeling like me again
How to Get Started
Here’s my challenge for you, mama:
1. Make a list.
Write down all the things you used to do that made you feel alive, adventurous, or just plain fun. Not things you do for everyone else; things you do for you.
2. Pick one.
Commit to doing it, even if it’s just an hour a week.
3. Ask for help.
Yes, it might feel uncomfortable, but ask for the time, space, or support you need. Your family will survive and they’ll benefit too.
Don’t Let “Should” Steal Your Joy
When you take that time for yourself, you might hear that inner voice: “Shouldn’t you be spending this with your kids? Doing more at work? Folding laundry?” Stop. Don’t should on yourself. You are allowed to invest in you.
Because when you do, everything changes:
- Your energy increases
- Your joy returns
- Your family notices
- Your work improves
- You remember what it feels like to be fully, unapologetically you
Take Action Today
💡 Start by making that list today. Pick one thing. Commit. Ask for help. Watch how your life shifts in ways you didn’t think were possible.
Mama, you deserve to thrive, not just survive. 💖
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